KBTV

KBTV::The Rage-Over

I spent all weekend being so pissed off at YouTube that I woke up Sunday morning with what felt like horrific hangover, which is impossible – because I don’t even drink. I guess it must have been a rage-over or something because what is usually a reasonably pleasant process – the act of getting out the door to go to church looking like an adult – became excruciatingly painful. Swallowing that precious pair of Advil gels felt Herculean. I was in a bad mood and the octogenarian motorists on I-95 were going to suffer.

Sixteen hours later, I finally climbed into bed – sometime around midnight – slated for a 4:30 a.m. wakeup call to hit my sunrise shoot. That night before, I remembered I had set my Blackberry, but I must have forgotten to set the “sleep timer” on my television. I surf around the TV guide and finally settle on Comedy Central. It’s a standup comedian from Philly, and he’s riffing about Yoga.

Snuggle snuggle. Punch punch pillow. Burrow, burrow beneath the down comforter. OK. I’m ready. Snore. I must have fallen asleep in minutes because I never heard what happened after the comedian from Philly had sex in the Ashram and got kicked out.

Dee dee dee dee dee dah dee dah dah.

Beethoven is once again wailing out of my Blackberry. It’s 4:30 a.m. I hear girls gigging and shrieking and wait…they sound drunk. They’re definitely partying. Somewhere in my townhouse – in my bedroom even – teenage girls on spring break with long blond hair and exposed breasts are making out and…what? Is that whipped cream? Yuck.

I throw on my glasses. What the hell is going on? It’s dark out. I focus in on my plasma 54-inch flat screen television that my boyfriend gave me for Valentine’s Day that arrived 67 days late – just in time for my Birthday. (I’m an Aries; do the math.) Comedy Central? Still? What was I watching?

Oh … Girls Gone Wild!

To be continued…

posted by INSIDE FAU @ 5:38 PM